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#!/usr/bin/env ruby
require 'cgi'
def llink(href, text)
if $cgi.path_info == href
$cgi.a(href) { "[ #{text} ⇓ ]" }
else
$cgi.a(href) { "[ #{text} ]" }
end
end
def rlink(href, text)
$cgi.a(href: href, target: "_blank") { "[ #{text} ⇗ ] " }
end
def toplinks
$cgi.table(id: "toplinks") {
$cgi.tr {
$cgi.td { llink("/" , "Home" ) } +
$cgi.td { rlink("https://git.4574.co.uk/", "Git" ) } +
$cgi.td { llink("/stuff-i-want" , "Stuff I Want") }
}
}
end
def rquote
[
"~ sweet ~",
"User_4574 uses Linux, and loves life.",
"User_4574 shall arrange the blocks and toil, for ever and a day.",
"User_4574 likes the number 7.",
"ex scientia veritas",
"User_4574 will blow things up for money.",
"User_4574 dreams it possible.",
"(define (! ?) (? ?)) (! !)",
"User_4574 lets her pain fade down.",
"User_4574 maintains vigilance during disablement conditions.",
"User_4574 is established on the localiser.",
"Memetic Hazard.",
"Every six months User_4574 checks the oil level of the drive housing, and if necessary tops up with IBM 15 to the level of the inspection hole.",
"User_4574 remembers tomorrow.",
"User_4574 <3s OpenBSD",
"Expectation is directly proportional to performance.",
"User_4574 is taking hits! Hull strength falling.",
"User_4574 is not on fire.",
"User_4574 syncs on green.",
"User_4574 always reads the plaque.",
"User_4574's work ethic is IEFBR14.",
"User_4574 clears the link pack area.",
"vivat diu et prosperet.",
"The White Zone is for loading and unloading only.",
"User_4574 copies run start.",
"User_4574 shows standby brie.",
"All hail the glow cloud.",
"User_4574 tries at all times, without surrender, to be on good terms with all people.",
"This is Delta Team. All production is down, repeat, all production is down.",
"User_4574 glows in the dark turning dust to gold.",
"NAT is evil.",
"User_4574 chooses to have the ball in hand behind the headstring.",
"User_4574 likes to think she could make Knuth cry if she wanted to.",
"Due to a lack of interest, tomorrow has been cancelled. We apologize for any inconvenience caused.",
"This is the panic office: Section 9-17 may have been hit. Activate the following procedure.",
"Nothing, and everything, is possimpable."
].sample
end
def page(title, jumbotitle = title)
load "#{title.downcase.gsub(?\s, ?-)}.cgi"
$cgi.out {
$cgi.html {
$cgi.head {
$cgi.title { "User_4574's Lair / #{title}" } +
$cgi.link(rel: "stylesheet", href: "styles.css")
} +
$cgi.body {
$cgi.h1("class" => "jumbo") { jumbotitle } +
$cgi.div { toplinks } +
$page +
$cgi.div(id: "quote") { rquote }
}
}
}
end
$cgi = CGI.new("html5")
case $cgi.path_info
when "/"
page("Home", "User_4574's Lair")
when /^\/stuff-i-want/
page("Stuff I Want")
when /^\/bv/
$cgi.out("status" => "MOVED", "Location" => "https://bv.miller.cm/") {}
end
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